My Problem with Ergo Keyboards

A long time ago I started suffering hand-pains when I used the computer. My dad bought me a Microsoft Natural Pro keyboard (the old, white ones, remember?) and since then I've loved ergos. I simply cannot use the straight, flat keyboards anymore, as they almost immediately make my hands hurt. After a few days, they REALLY hurt. I don't mean a slight ache, I mean it gets bad to the point where I can't use my hands for much of anything other than to display the latest finger/wrist splint fashions.So, this keyboard is very old now, there's god-knows-what stuffed between the keys (I distinctly remembering some Nerds falling out when I tried to clean it a couple years ago, along with part of a Cheeto and other assorted odd, unrecognizable things), and I want a new one. Sad to say, I go through this phase of wanting a new keyboard somewhat regularly, but can never find a good one.Want to know why? Because apparently no one can figure out how to make them right. That page is very close to explaining every problem I have with the new designs. I just can't make an ergo keyboard anymore that is NORMAL. And in all seriousness, when I played with a new Microsoft Natural, I had no clue where the insert key went! They have to move keys around, remove keys, remove LEDs, etc. Just because I use an ergo doesn't mean I'm a REBEL who wants everything different. I means I just want a keyboard that won't make my hands shrivel. (But the media/sleep keys ARE nice, despite.)Part of my issue with this old keyboard is that I don't have a replacement stashed away, and two, it's so old that when I type on it the noise is incredibly loud. So if Mike is trying to sleep and I'm still on the computer for whatever reason, it sounds like there's a herd of buffalo stomping across the equipment.I want a new keyboard for my birthday but at this rate I don't think anyone will ever make them "properly" again. :( If anyone can even FIND a regular, ergo keyboard for sale that is new (and quiet), I'd be very happy. I might not be able to afford it now but that doesn't mean I wouldn't eventually purchase it.I bit the bullet and applied to a local Chuck E. Cheese's. o_o; The two jobs in particular included waitress (I'd only really deliver pizzas, drinks, and tokens, so whatever), and party hosting, which includes setting up party tables, insuring they all get their food, drinks, sing happy birthday along with any characters there, and bus the tables after they leave. Not too bad. It's a lot better than the one in what we call, Hickory Hood.EDIT:Daiktana found this. Omg! I know what I want for my birthday now.